Hi, We're George and Tony, and we'd like to take you on a photographic tour of our clever weapons and show you what we can do with them. The first thing to realize is how smart we have made these weapons. From a distance of hundreds of miles, we can send a very powerful bomb which will hit a particular building in a particular city.

Unfortunately we can't be sure that the building won't have civilians in it, or near it. And, sad to say, the technology isn't perfect, so occasionally we will miss our target and hit an apartment block, or flatten a crowded market. We're very upset to see this of course, but that's the price the people of Iraq have had to to pay for allowing their country to be ruled by a leader we don't like.

OK, we once did like the Iraqi leader and helped keep him in power by selling him arms, equipment and chemicals, but that was years ago, before we realized that the weapons might actually be used against us at home! Now we do realize this, we will only sell weapons to our friends, and our enemy's enemies.

Iraq hasn't actually attacked us of course, and yes, none of the people who hijacked the airliners on September 11th came from Iraq, and yes, the anthrax attack in the USA turned out to have come from a laboratory within the United States, and yes, Iraq doesn't appear to have any of the chemical weapons we sold them left, but we still feel threatened by them, just as we feel threatened by many countries who have bad leaders and valuable natural resources.

So we're really sorry about the death and suffering we have caused to the Iraqi people and lament the fact that our television stations will soon forget about what a good job we did and move on to other pressing issues, like mortgage interest rates, and the fascinating lives of celebrities.

For this reason we thought you might want a record of some of our achievements. We've put together a few pages of photos for the whole family to look at. Your children might find them a bit disturbing but please re-assure the kids that this couldn't happen at home to them, because anyone in the UK and the USA who kills or hurts our children, gets put into prison for a very long time.